School-Age Digital Life, Cyberbullying & the Child’s Data

THE CAREGIVER’S SIX PRACTICES

1 — FOLLOW THE FAMILY’S MEDIA PLAN, AND ASK FOR ONE IF NONE EXISTS. Device rules, app permissions, and account decisions belong to the family. Your ask at the start of a school-age placement: “What are the device and app rules, and what do you want me to do when they’re tested?”

2 — KNOW THE AGE-13 LINE AND WHY IT EXISTS. Most major platforms set 13 as their minimum age because a federal privacy law — COPPA, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (1998) — restricts collecting personal data from children under 13. The AAP’s Center of Excellence recommends waiting until at least 13 to start social media accounts. A 10-year-old with a TikTok account is a family decision the caregiver can gently flag, not a rule she enforces on her own.

3 — BUILD DEVICE-HANDOFF ROUTINES. Screens live in shared spaces; devices dock (not in bedrooms) at a set time before sleep; transitions get a warning (“ten more minutes, then we’re at the park”). Predictable routines prevent most device conflicts before they start — the same principle as every other routine in Unit 4.

4 — PRACTICE CO-PRESENCE, NOT SURVEILLANCE. Sit alongside sometimes. Ask her to teach you the game. A child who expects an adult to be casually nearby online behaves differently — and, more important, talks — while covert monitoring teaches her to hide better. (Monitoring software is the family’s decision; your lane is presence.)

5 — TEACH THE TWO QUESTIONS. For anything she sees: “Who made this, and why?” A child who reflexively asks who benefits from a video, an ad, or a forwarded image has the core skill of media literacy — and it works on AI content and misinformation just as well as on commercials.

6 — OBSERVE, DOCUMENT, AND TELL THE FAMILY. Changes after device use — secrecy, distress, sleep loss, dropping offline friends, sudden account deletions — get documented like any other observation (date, context, what you saw, what you said) and shared with the family the same day. Same model as Unit 2.

THE RESPONSE SEQUENCE — PER STOPBULLYING.GOV

If a child in your care is targeted: do not respond to or forward the messages (a reaction is what bullies want); save the evidence — screenshots, dates, times, descriptions; block the person on the platform; and bring it to the family the same day with your documentation. Reporting to the school, the platform, or — for physical threats — the police is the family’s decision, made with your record in hand.

ONE ABSOLUTE EXCEPTION TO “SCREENSHOT EVERYTHING”: if an image or video sexualizes a minor — any minor — do not save it, screenshot it, or forward it, even as evidence. Possessing or sharing such material is itself a crime. Describe what you saw in words, in writing, to the family immediately, and treat it as a safety emergency, not a media problem.

And the harder case: if the child in your care is the one doing the bullying, the same documentation and same-day family conversation apply. It is developmental information, not a verdict about her character — and it is the family’s to address, with your observations.

FIVE PRACTICES FOR THE CONNECTED CAREGIVER

1 — PHOTO HYGIENE. Daily-report photos travel only through the family’s chosen channel; turn off auto-backup of work photos to your personal cloud; disable location tagging in your camera settings; delete work photos from your device on the schedule the agreement sets (and at the end of the role).

2 — LOCATION. Never post in real time from wherever the child actually is; if the family asks you to share your location during work hours, that is a reasonable request that belongs in the written agreement — scoped to work hours.

3 — SMART DEVICES. Assume speakers, doorbells, and cameras in the home record. Behave and speak as if recorded — and remember from earlier in this lesson that audio consent law varies by state.

4 — THE CHILD’S DATA. Don’t sign the child into apps, games, or websites under your personal accounts; don’t enter her name, birthday, or photos into third-party apps (including photo-editing and quiz apps) without family direction — COPPA (Unit 6) restricts collecting children’s data precisely because it is valuable and permanent.

5 — OFFBOARDING. When the role ends: photos deleted per agreement, shared accounts and calendars exited, saved locations cleared, and the family told, in writing, that it’s done. The digital footprint you leave behind should match the professionalism you brought.